LESSONS

 I am in a constant process of transformation. I learn from any and everything. When I look at d birds, I learn the freedom to fly. Even if I never grow wings, I take solace in the fact that was I to grow them; there is a sky to fly in. When I look at the ants, I learn d lesson of storing for rainy days, d knowledge that d ants start from a little bit of clay attached to another before the colony teaches me the lesson of perseverance and determination. Nothing explains a journey of a thousand miles beginning wit a step like them. As I go on in life and see how d minutest of decisions can fulfill or alter the plans of our lives,

I've made it a duty to think thrice, check my thought again and again, Never to live for the approval of others, to strive for self actualization, to quit taking defeat while I stoop, to always explore the opportunity to be better, to see d good in others no matter how difficult it might be, to love fiercely, To despise just a little, to forgive and not necessarily forget, to acquire the humility of great men, to be undisturbed by other people's business, to make sure to at least pay a good deed forward everyday, to respect the feelings of others even if I don’t understand them, to stay away from grudges so I don’t overload my heart, to passionately seek that which pleases, never to give up and ultimately, to share the love of God abroad my heart and the hearts of others. lessons keep me in a constant process of transformation...

CHANGES

Inspired by a blog that I read which had something to do with personality changes over time, I decided to write a little something about certain changes in my life too. Not necessarily personality now, more like my change in taste of men.

1-6 years: I was intensely in love with my dad.

 This age range showed me in intenseandwhoopingslapacrosstheheadswooningeyesdramatic love for my dad. Everything he did just seemed extremely right. I wanted to have his kind of clothings, wanted to speak like him, infact, I “adore-lized” him.

6-10 years, I began to realize the presence of other men.

At this range, I began to explore the possibilities of the existence of variations in the male specie besides my father and my elder bro (I never noticed my bro tho, eyes rolling and sucking teeth). I really did not fantasize about any man for a while. As I edged on closer to 10 years, I remember having a real crush on certain looking boys in my elementary school. At that point, I can clearly say I was attracted to good looking and serious minded boys. I had a strong thing for boys with good grades and great style (not that there was much of style as we were mostly dressed in uniforms). U knw that line between a nerd and a rad boy?...well, yh, that point.

I moved into the realms of 11-15, stuck in the rut stage.

For starters, I realized at this point that I wasn’t one of the cool girls…at ALL!!!!. I was constantly attracted to guys that will not even take a look twice. I was quite attractive with pretty good looking body, but I guess the guys I liked in elementary school felt like it was time for them to like me, while I had moved on to totallycoolwithoutgoodgradeskinda guys. Unfortunately, these kinda guys saw me as good girls so dint want me. Then, ghost of recent past began haunting me; the guys with good grades!!!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately, they still dint have style. The ones who had style and liked me just dint have good grades…sad

16-to God knows when..still wondering

I began to explore more options. I fell in love with various kinds of people. I however realized that I met quite a number of gutsy males. If a guy is cool with good grades but is not willing to be a lil unpredictable or even seem a bit crazy, then, he isn’t worth the effort. Crazy is quite objective. I do not mean rave staking mad, I just want someone who might think outside the box a lil more. Not extremely abstract and unconstructive acts, nah…just a brother who knows how to make this sometimes dreary world worth living beautifully. I actually came to a conclusion that, good grades, coolness and “raddity” would not make the man. It’s all about how we all deal with one another. It will not suffice to say I have met my perfect match as at now, or I am deeply satisfied with all that there is, but I can guarantee that I will put my best into whatever it is that I have and try to continue to move. If my taste changes, I want the subject of my affection to be ready to be the new taste I might acquire. I am not willing to change the subject, just willing to tweak the characteristics.

Take this moment to appreciate the special ones in your lives. Make them know how far a journey it has been from childhood, and after various eliminations from the loving daddy stage till now, they are the last men standing. Happy Valentine

Thoinx…

Like a proverbial child.

I constantly stalk the blogs of others, leave with no form of comment and at most, with a few words. As I look back at my life, I realize I’ve always been that kind of person; one who comes and leaves highly unnoticed. That is not to say im boring considering the fact that everyone around me sees me as quite vocal and crazy. It is however that part of me which just finds it highly unnecessary to voice every of my opinion. Other times, I just feel like it’s highly unnecessary to bother the world with my self-propagating ideas. it all comes down to my lack of updates and tales on my blog despite the fact that my life has been considerably eventful. If I had to write a journal, I would have had to come up with something so I wonder why nothing pops as interesting when it comes to updating my blog. I did an intense soul searching and realized that I have a chronic case of procrastination and a high level of inconsistence. This is not only in my writing but in almost all ramification of my life. I have a very low level of consistency, I get bored with every and anything and in quick time too, I can sit still but in a restless manner as my very own thoughts come out in splurges like a #randomnopatternpainting#.

I am trying to make some decisions, not necessarily a new year’s resolution as the confining sentence in itself is enough to get me breaking all the rules. I need to up my game on all spheres of my life. I need not be too hard on myself. I have to learn to appreciate the baby steps and look towards a grand picture. I have to know when my goals seem too far-fetched and perfect in order to either revamp or infuse some beautiful imperfections. In all, I just need to do sth.

Im quite laid back but im extremely serious on the other end. Im not complicated but im not as easy as that sounds. Regardless of  all these, im grateful to have this blog, the few readers right now and the eventual multiple readers. Im grateful for an opportunity to be aware of my weaknesses and the willingness to work on them and above all, im grateful for the gift of life.

Life is a blank board, you are the painter;be a protégé and come out with ur best painting….mcyriuss

Thoinx

Open relationships

OPENNESS

I am real sorry that I have barely even started before playing out a major truancy on my blog. Reasons for this misdemeanor are:

1.   Im in my junior year in college and the workload is getting exceptionally back breaking

2.    I have a major flaw of procrastinating…(pls make it a prayer point for me)

3.   I have decided to allow this excuses to rob me of a good blogging experience…sad

Well, well, well, to the basics. Hw have my blogville family members been?... I was going through a recent edition of an Ebony magazine when I came across the article on open relationships and various points of view on it. To say Im bewildered by the recent trends of atrocities in marriages is to say the least. I believe the proprieties of marriage have been seriously compromised. I cannot for the life of me understand how two people who are supposed to be exclusive partners find it quite acceptable to sleep with other people and still consider their relationship exclusive.

I can understand helping my partner to actually come to terms with his sexual orientation if I begin to suspect the brova of being on the down low, I can imagine breaking a pan on his head for sleeping with another sister, but actually consenting to such a relationship while I philander away on my own side is beyond me. Okay, what is the point of the marriage?

Various excuses have come up for this poor arrangement:

1.   To avoid divorce…duhhhhh

2.   Each partner is not the prettiest nor the best… for realz?????

3.   …and many more sorry excuses.

Whether I susbscribe to this or not is not an issue. I just think these educated and enlightened folks are really slow for all they think they know. Come on, my ancestors have opened up relationships tey tey. Many Africans have tales of grandparents and various step grandparents. Nonmonogamy has worked then for lack of ignorance as these people said. They felt those African folks were barbaric hence the ability to sustain more than a wife to man. It is however quite interesting that they have decided to garnish the same practise of “POLY”gamy and the other polies and name them Open relationships. In a society where sexual orientation is no longer certified by gender, how much more danger are we ready to accept? If there is an open relationship, then the institution of marriage is crumbled. The future of many other institutions also face extinction. How open are we to this new trend of “openness”….

Have a funfilled week everyone

Anumans

MY SIBLINGS ARE HUMAN!!!! PUHLEEAASSEEEE

I have nothing against loving the animals…I really don’t. I merely have a problem with people who have gone overboard in their defense of these animals. This thought was so much in my mind all day before I then went on http://theybf.com/2011/09/02/battleship-star-rihanna-dishes-on-the-kicking-butt-in-her-new-movie-and-honoring-the-troo and saw PETA reprimanding Rihanna for wearing an outfit that is suspected to be real feathers from birds. For realz now??? . Come on PETA folks. I do not think anyone has not heard about this animal rights group and how they desire to tug unto an issue like the bull so why would Rihanna intentionally set herself up for such a tug? Im wondering. Besides, they have not stated any investigation affirming to the fact that those are real feathers… hmmm

Actually, the precedent of this thought came from a personal incident. I was walking down my block one fateful day, yh…I need to mention my intense fear of animals of all kinds. I can admire them from a distance, but on close proximity? hmm, hmm mbano. We dnt gel like that. I also do not hesitate to let the owners and walkers know that, though, I think your pet is cute, I however do not wish to be in close quarters with it. So, this woman is walking her dog down the block and in my usual polite manner, I smile and then move off the curb onto a partial and safe distance of the road. This dog however smelled my fear and found it amusing as it practically tries to drag its owner towards me. At this realization, I inch off even further and my inching off gets me closer onto the road thereby running the risk of getting hit. I really dint care, as I just wanted to get away from the dog. The owner then says, “oh , she is nice. She merely wants to play with you”. I smiled and said, “I guess so but I am… (Stuttering so I don’t sound rude) kinda scared of animals”. At that, her face took on a venomous display of rage. She begins to scream as high as her lungs will let, “ why would she say she is scared of my baby? Do u run form your siblings? ohmygawd!!! Bitch!!!!.” She hisses, throws a tantrum and all the nine yards. I looked at her and said, “My siblings are humans not DOGS (emphasis). She just storms off saying all sorts.  I then turned back and began to laugh.

I laughed at the sheer display of craziness. I understand loving a pet and all but putting a pet in place of a human??? Human rights activists should look into that. A society that is constantly plagued by an unnecessary cry for rights and freedom will suffer inconspicuous forms of bondage and enslavement. If a country known for a high level of freedom and rights has issues such as this both on domestic and larger scales, then there is reason for concern. I am all for animal rights but not at the detriment of the safety or freedom of humans…After all we are supposed to be in control not them. 

Nice week everyone…

To my sister

I miss her

My younger sis, Timbuktu; Timby for shorts just left home for school after a long summer. Actually, she always has to leave but I think this time is different because during this summer break, we went through a great bonding process. You know, often times, when two people go through difficult times together, they tend to come out of it with a stronger bond than before. Well, I can quite infer that we went through that process and that left us with more respect and love for each other.

Okay, so she leaves for school and I begin to feel extremely miserable. Its needless to say that my feeling of misery came not only from the physical separation but also the deplorable state in which she usually leaves the room when she has to leave home. I had so much fear to go back to the house after dropping her at the airport that I decided to stay at Sunshine’s (my innocent pleasure bf) job instead. Finally as dusk settled, he suggested in the sweetest tone, “Baby, do u want me to drop u off now? Or…” for fear of sounding like he does not want me around, he lets the sentence trail off. I just resigned to fate and said, “Yes”.

I lingered in the passageway before turning the doorknob. I finally did and voila!!!, the room was clean. I then realized that for the first time in forever, Timby tried to make the room as sane as she could manage. I walked in with an insane expectation to see her laptop on the bed, one misplaced leg of her just taken off shoes, her top on the shoe rack or even her royal self strutting into the room with a mischievous grin on her face. However, I wasn’t so lucky. I met the emptiness that we both left earlier in the day and for the first time in my life; I wish she had left the room in a mess. If she had, I would have had something to spend my time doing.

I managed to clear up the little mess and I just lay on the bed. It was then that loneliness and boredom strolled in, sat by my bedside and began to murmur in my ears. Tears dropped from my eyes, as never before have I missed my sister so. I looked around several times over and began to replay the summer holidays and all sorts of things we got into. The ridiculous thing about how I felt is the fact that my bro and my dad were home, yet I felt like I was not just alone at home, but in the world…

Incase Timby gets to read this, “I miss u like crazy. Even in those days when u r so incorrigible and downright annoying, I love u still. I probably did not realize how much love I have for you until now. However, I will not let an opportunity slide off to tell u that I really love u my sister.

NOTHING IMPORTANT

EXTREME RANDOMNESS

Often and often have I tried to have my own blog but I haven’t recorded much success. I made an attempt about 8 months ago and posted some random stuff. In recent days, I have been extremely bored and depressed about my boring life. In actual sense, im a very interesting person in my head; on the other hand, im not sure I can infuse my comic self into my writing. This has caused a heavy dose of discouragement for me.

Being one who never really gives up, I have decided to start all o’er again and even keep up this time. The randomness of my writing right now is the randomness of my thoughts so please bear wit me if between giving you a juicy gist, I go off on a randomlynotconnecting trail of thoughts.

Right now, there isn’t much to tell u guys about besides my new determination to be a proficient blogger…hmmm. Yh. That’s it...OMG im even shy behind my laptop. Ok den bye